return my video game
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
