): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
