My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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