im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
