i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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