I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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