I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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