So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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