I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
