yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
