I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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