How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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