I want to have your abortion
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
