are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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