Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize