alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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