i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
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I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
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I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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