If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
