: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Randomize
