Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
