Having a random hookup so left but love u
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
