He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
