my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
