I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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