piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We were destined to go to rehab together
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
