We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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