Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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