If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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