Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sober January is a disaster.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
