i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
