How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Randomize