i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
