My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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