You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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