I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
