So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
