dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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