Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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