You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
