So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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