All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
