Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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