i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
