how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
