so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
