I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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