I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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