yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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