I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
