seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
