Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
