A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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