what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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