there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
