just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Randomize
