I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
