Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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