either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
