We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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