she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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