I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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